The 10 Types of Women and How to Woo Them
Learn your type–and how to win her over
I live in New York City and one of the things I love about it is that you have EVERY FLAVOR OF WOMAN POSSIBLE! It really is a melting pot of the world and there is just about every type, every nationality, every personality you could want. It was a great place to sample a bunch of flavors before figuring out which one you liked the best.
And as every guy wants an edge, it’s always better to know and understand what you’re getting into and what you want. When you get good enough, you can identify all the different types, even before you get a chance to chat with them!
I have spent over 20 years in NYC and I’ve been coaching for over 12. So not only do you have my personal experiences and observations over decades (which I think is great, yet could be subjective), but you have the hard data of hundreds of male and female clients and experiences.
In a diverse city such as this you don’t want a “shotgun approach” where you just spray the same come-on lines in every direction and hope you hit something.
You want to hone in on the particular lady-type you want. And each personality comes with their own particular advantages and disadvantages as well as a specific ways to woo them.
While we could divide women into an almost infinite amount of categories, here are my Top 10!
The Party Girl/Social Butterfly
This is the type of woman that knows exactly where all the coolest places to go are. She can get you on a guest list and knows who’s working the door that night. Everyone is glad to see her and she runs into people she knows wherever you go. She’s usually beautiful, gregarious and an extrovert who loves the energy and attention.
Advantages: You will never be bored with her and you’ll get access to people and places you otherwise wouldn’t.
Disadvantages: You’ll be competing for her time against all the fabulous people and things out there. You may end up sitting home some nights while she’s dancing the night away.
How to woo her: This girl loves to be “in the know” on all the cool stuff going on in her area. Make sure you can offer her an invitation to something special. If she could get in without you, what does she need you for?
The Girly Girl
She’s cute, she’s feminine and on Wednesdays, she wears pink. Her closet is full of skirts, dresses and blouses and she loves her perfume, make-up and lip gloss. This is the most traditionally feminine of the group. She’s soft and kind and doodles with hearts and stars. If she has a dog, it’s some curly, froo-froo poodle mix that probably has a larger wardrobe than most men.
Advantages: She ticks off all the feminine or girly qualities you imagined when you were young. Also, moms usually love this kind of woman
Disadvantages: Definitely not the “roughhouse” type. You’re never gonna toss the football around or get help moving the couch.
How to woo her: As she is “typically” feminine, she is usually looking for someone “typically” masculine, whatever that means. Talk about guy stuff: sports, chopping wood, action movies, etc…
The Career Woman
She was out in the world with a law degree at 23 years old. While you were hanging up posters of Kobe Bryant as a kid, she had pictures of Sonia Sotomayor and Condoleezza Rice. Her job comes first and she will bust her ass to make sure no one can even intimate that she shouldn’t make partner.
Advantages: This is a woman that knows her worth. She’s confident, capable and take charge. Plus, looks are not as important to her as success is.
Disadvantages: Having been used to being in charge, she might try and steamroll you, even unknowingly. Some could view her power as un-feminine.
How to woo her: Feed into the ego a bit. Tell her how impressed you are with how far she is in her career. Ask her what her 10-year plan is. Suggest going to an Anthony Robbins seminar together.
The Guy’s Girl
A bit of a tomboy, this woman feel most comfortable in the company of guys. She’s a ball buster, loud and can probably school you in sports trivia or pool. She eschews anything that could label her as a girly girl. Her uniform is jeans and a top and you’ll only see her in a dress at a wedding.
Advantages: Usually much lower-maintenance than other types of girls. Will definitely be down to head to the new beer garden to watch the game.
Disadvantages: May state that “girls don’t like her” when in reality they just think she’s trying too hard to fit in. Always wants to hang with you and the boys as she doesn’t have any female friends.
How to woo her: Talk about smashing the patriarchy. Tell her how refreshing it is to talk to someone who doesn’t “drink the Kool-aid on purported heteronormative behavior.” Buy her a shot of whiskey.
The quintessential city girl or as Billy Joel sings, “Uptown Girl.” On Saturday morning, she’s dressed in her athleisure outfit, picking up her cronuts and Starbucks. She’s up to date on all the news around the city. She won’t go out below 14th Street because her Louboutins could get scuffed by a ragamuffin.
Advantages: Many guys look at her as the ultimate prize, so you get a lot of guy-credit. She is the perfect cocktail party date as she wows folks with her intelligence and wit.
Disadvantages: You’ve got to work hard for this one, you have a lot of competition. She may also be higher maintenance and loves to go to expensive places.
How to woo her: Tell her how impressed you are with her, but don’t chase her. Every guy seems to chase her, so she’ll wonder why you’re so aloof and not trying to compete, which will help you stand out from all the other guys out there.
The Artsy Hipster
Free-spirit was what this type was called in days of yore, like, the 70s. The dresses she wears are patchworks and made from natural fibers. She may be vegetarian or vegan or gluten-free or whatever the new thing is. Life is about experiences and not money, so as such, she’ll probably be a little poorer than your other ladies. Might be a teacher, artist or work in marketing. And she’s cool. Most likely, cooler than you’ll ever be.
Advantages: She’s definitely down for dive bars, especially if there’s a pop-up art exhibit inside. Much more open minded and up for anything. May think bras are for “corporate chicks.”
Disadvantages: This is the type of girl with opinions. LOTS of opinions. And you’d better be up on your #MeToo, #PETA, #BlackLivesMatter or #currenthottopicissue info! Also, possible armpit hair.
How to woo her: You’d best be up to date on local or national politics and any current grassroots movements. Shop farmers markets, volunteer and tell her you want to learn more about post-modern feminism.
Not looking for an adventure partner, not looking for a travel bud, this one just wants to find someone to cuddle up and watch lots of Netflix. Typically introverted, she’s a lover of books, board games and historical dramas. Forget taking her to the hottest restaurant, make a pillow fort, stay in PJs and start the Marvel Universe movies from the beginning.
Advantages: She probably can cook decently and would love to be a stay-at-home mom. You never have to put on airs with her and she’s totally comfortable to be around.
Disadvantages: Forget the tailgate where you’d love her company. May deal with some jealousy if you want to go out or spend some bro time. May not be the most “put together” girl.
How to woo her: Come up with some cheap and fun dates where you don’t have to interact with people a lot. Tell her you’re interested to see her top ten movies. Inform her you’ll bring the pizza.
The Sex Kitten/Seductress
The sex kitten can be, conversely, the most desired and feared woman there is. She just oozes sexuality. She knows what she wants and knows how to get it. When she walks through a room, all eyes are on her. As a liberated woman, she’s not shy with her opinions and is definitely down for whatever.
Advantages: If you want the “freak in the sheets,” this is her! She’s down for anything, probably already done it and may push you to do things YOU’VE never done. (I dated one of these once and she wanted to “peg” me. I told her only if it was in bed with me and three women. Never happened, but DID have threesomes with her!)
Disadvantages: Men usually have a hard enough time satiating a normal woman. So you’d better bring your A-game every night! And don’t you dare have a headache! If she doesn’t get it from you, she’ll get it from someone else.
How to woo her: She loves innuendo and strong eye-contact. Get her into a game of “Truth or Dare.” You’ll also need to ooze sexuality too, otherwise she’ll be a Maneater and eat you alive!
She lost her virginity to her high school boyfriend that she was “totally in love with,” that broke up with her the next month. Everything dating-wise is seen through rose-colored glasses. Probably loves all the Disney movies, has “The Notebook” as her phone background and thinks Valentine’s Day is the best holiday of the year!
Advantages: She is usually super sweet, doting, caring, touchy feely and happy. She strives to make you feel like a million bucks and totally subscribes to the soulmate theory. Super loyal.
Disadvantages: May overlook a lot of red flags if they don’t conform to her ideal. She loves the idea of being in love more than actually being in love. Expects guys to act certain ways and is crushed if disappointed.
How to woo her: Lean in to all the schlock that the media pumps out. She wants flowers, chocolates, love notes, cute texts, birthday posts, etc. Quote “The Princess Bride” or “Pride and Prejudice” to her.
The Good Girl
They are brought up to be educated, polite and respectful. She goes out of her way to treat others well. You can always count on her to help out or volunteer. There may be a religious aspect to her, but not always. Much more conservative than some other women. Feels rules are made to be followed.
Advantages: A study by Stanford University reported that the most desirable adjectives to describe women were compassionate, warm, cheerful, soft-spoken, and loyal — all qualities of a good good girl.
Disadvantages: May not be open sexually. Can look at vices with her nose in the air. Runs the risk of being close minded or worse, bigoted.
How to woo her: Tell her how you are trying to help the world through volunteering. Complain that modern women are missing the best things in life. Offer to take her to a petting zoo.
Once you know yourself, you can go get your type!
Obviously I am over-exaggerating to some degree and there are LOTS of other types of women out there (horse girls, cheer girls, drama queens, golddiggers). These are just some of the most common types that you’ll run into. And no woman is only 1 type, but she’ll probably have one type more dominant than the others.
But the main point to this is women are not “one approach fit all.” Each type of woman is going to want different, and sometimes completely opposite, things. Your job is to figure out how best to give that to her.
So get out there and experiment and mix it up and see what types you typically run across. Good hunting!